A Dyslexic
Law Student's
Story.
My
story begins when I
first saw “Night Court” at the age of eight. I wanted to be Judge Harry T. Stone.
I thought that
would be a great job. So, I decided
then to become a lawyer (since you had to be a lawyer before you can become a
judge). It was not until
16 years later I learned that my dream was going to be harder to obtain that most
law students. During the summer
between my 2nd and 3rd year of law school I realized that my problem was hindering
me from obtaining a law degree. I decided to get
tested when I failed the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam (MPRE), which
consists of 50 multiple choice questions for the third time with the SAME grade.
... found to have
dyslexia. So, I went to
the local learning specialist and was tested. And - lo and behold! - at the age
of 24 I was found to have dyslexia.  Yeah,
you could have imagined my surprise. It was also a relief in that I realized I
wasn’t dumb or crazy … just different.
Then, a few months
later, I had to re-evaluated by another doctor and learned I also had ADD (Attention
Deficit Disorder). This has lead to more doctors to try ADD treatments. Fun, fun!
And EVERY doctor
I have encountered has said, “Why did you go to law school?” BECAUSE I DIDN’T
KNOW. If I had known, maybe I would have pursued my second passion: art. The doctor explained
that I was a unique person. The last doctor
I went to explained that I was a unique person. My IQ ranges in the 99th percentile,
but my reading comprehension and speed are on the other side of the spectrum and
below average. Great! So I was
too smart for my own good. My dad could have told me that and not charged me $200.
I did receive time and a half on the MPRE and passed (on the 5th try) but not
without getting my lawyer involved (Joanne Simon - the attorney who won a case
against the New York State Bar Examiners when they denied a dsylexic woman accommodations). I don’t joke
around when it comes to getting what I want. The National Conference of Bar Examiners
actually had the gall to say: "If you got this far without accommodations, then
you don't need them now." I failed it
four times. ACK! I failed
it four times. What more proof did they need? Thankfully, the New York State Bar
Examiners were very accommodating.  They
divided the Exam into four days, of which day one consisted of the first three
essays, day two consisting of two essays and the MPT (Multistate Performance Test),
and days three and four consisting of 100 multiple choice Multistate questions.
It sucks to no
end but I realize now that I needed the extra time. I recently took
the New York State Bar Exam and failed (by 12 points) and I am taking it again
in February. My confidence has been destroyed and I don’t know how to get it back
much less explain to my family what I am going through. They don’t understand
at all what I have gone through. It has been painful to know have to tell them
how I hide all my problems from them. I am going to
another therapist in order to obtain the drugs that will supposedly help my ADD.
I have tried Strattera and another drug and both made me sick, depressed and I
have terrible nightmares. This has been the most demoralizing and humiliating
experience of my life. I remember starting
to feel like I was different when I was in first grade. I realized I couldn’t
grasp things without studying them for long periods of time. I hide ALL my
problems from my family. I was the "smart" sister/daughter who got good grades
... I also studied from the moment I got home until late in the night just to
do well. Thank god for insomnia. I would go to
extra help sessions but leave if there was anyone there because I didn't want
people to see me as weak.  Graduated
11th in my high school class.
I graduated 11th
in my high school class (1997) and magnum cum laude at my college where
I majored in Political Science and Para-legal Studies. It seems so odd
to me that I was selected to tutor individuals with learning disabilities at college
and I never knew I was one of them. Panic attacks.
I have terrible
panic attacks, but only relating to the school/academics. I am very relaxed and
easy going in all other aspects of my life. It is only with
school have I developed fits of depression, crying, and low self-esteem. I actually
would freak out the moment a teacher said the words: “multiple choice.” I would automatically
go and ask for extra credit assignments because I knew I was never going to make
it. I only received a 990 on my SATs (1030 the second time) and a 145 on the LSAT.
... an average student
in my first year of law school. I was an average
student in my first year of law school (lots of C’s, a few B’s, and one D) but
excelled in the second and third years since I could take what I wanted, from
whom I wanted, and I mostly took paper and practicum classes to insure I would
succeed.  I
went from 247th in the class to 97th in 3 years. Of course, I had to study for
ten hours at night...oh well who needs a social life, right? I even studied
at a Bar Mitzvah once. I hid the book in the bathroom and whenever I could I would
go and study for a few minutes. Of course it never helped. I could read an article
10 times and STILL not understand a word I read. Most of the time
I would go to class, praying that the teacher wouldn’t call on me. Which for anyone
who has gone to law school or seen it, you will ALWAYS be called on and the teacher
relishes embarrassing you in front of the rest of the class. Of course, most of
the students are thinking, “Thank god it wasn’t me” but all you can think is:
“I’m stupid and everyone knows it.” ... no one understood
what I was going through. After being diagnosed,
I felt so alone and no one understood what I was going through. From what I saw,
I was the ONLY student who received accommodations for a disability in my graduating
class and there is nothing like sitting in a room by yourself taking a test when
all your friends will finish hours or days before you. In New York,
my Bar is four days long with the accommodations, yet everyone ends Wednesday.
It's hard to keep the "secret" when your friends don't see you at the "regular"
test center and, when they want to party after THEIR Bar, you can't and either
you can't explain to them why or, like me, I'm embarrassed. Ugly ducklings.  This
is how I explained to my friend what it was like being an adult diagnosed with
a learning disability (its based off a poem that I can’t remember who wrote):
Those of us with
disabilities are the ugly ducklings of life living among the ducks. We are seen
as something ugly, something different, something to be pitied or feared. We begin
to believe this since we know nothing else. So, when we grow into the swan that
is still different but stronger and more beautul, l when we see other swans, we
fear and pity them for being so different and not seeing that we are them until
we look into the water and see our reflection. It’s funny how
in law school they teach you how to think like a lawyer. They show you how to
argue your way out of anything. But then what
do they do? Give a multiple choice test to determine whether after surviving three
years of law school you can practice law in the state of your choosing. Yeah,
that seems logical. I feel like a
kid being denied admission into the "cool kids" club.  They
say dyslexia is hereditary.
They say dyslexia
is hereditary and I have noticed the same “quirks” in my sisters and father, although
they went into artistic fields (music and graphic artist) and my father is self-employed
so they never had that “wall” that I now face. Who knows that
will happen in February? I might pass the Bar or I might not? I might try again
or I might not? I have done well
at every job I have had: from working in television, a political opinion office,
law firms, mediator, tutor …. I know I can do it and it makes me angry that the
format of a test is keeping me from becoming a lawyer. ... having this
disability does make me an asset. But, I realize
now that having this disability does make me an asset. I thought about
how times people came to me for help, or how many times I was the leader of a
group project or president of an academic organization (e.g. Phi Alpha Delta).
I’m a better problem
solver and multi-tasker than most people I have worked with, and that helps boost
what little confidence I have left. And if I hear
one more person say: “Just study harder,” “You’re overstudying,” or “Why did you
go to law school in the first place?” I am going hit them over the head with one
of my law books. Oh well, thanks
for allowing me to get this story out there. If there are others like me out there,
I would love to hear from you.  A
joke.
I leave you with
a legal joke: How many lawyers' joke are there? Three - all the rest are true. Erica
DeTraglia.
E-mail:
edetraglia@hotmail.com
January 2005.
On
S
eptember 28, 2005, Erica DeTraglia was admitted to the State of New
York Bar. Now, Erica DeTraglia, Esq.
S
he is
working as an attorney in New
York in the fields of Estate Planning, Article 81 Guardianships, Real
Estate, Landlord/Tenant, and more. She is the mentor for local high
schools
in a mock trial compeition. She is also the Board
member with the Mediation
Center of Dutchess County and a member and/or a member of committees in her
local Women's Bar Assoication and County Bar Association.
She would like to thank everyone who emailed her
encouraging her on through
her struggles. She would also like to thank the many people all over the
world who read her
story and emailed her, letting her know that her story
helped them. You all helped her as much as she tried to support and
encourage you.
She welcomes anyone to email her and she will try to respond quickly."
Your experiences.
Please do email us your own experiences
so that we can include them - anonymously if you wish - on this page.
A
social worker writes of her experiences with words.
Whoa!
Major Flashback.
Success
with the Direct Learning Reading Comprehension Exercise. | 
